our disposable world

So I think too much sometimes, the following is one such instance. I've observed that many people, especially people around my age seem to feel an angst about relationships. Most of us live disconnected lives, and when asked feel like we are missing out but, at the same time don't know what to do about it. I'm wondering if this angst and inability to connect is due in some way, shape, for, or fashion to our dependence on the disposable nature of our lives. For example in the past if our TV's broke we would take them to the TV repair guy. Now if they die, we trash them and buy a new one. Eating meals at home was more necessary because eating on the go never really became a comfortable option until the widespread use of fast food franchises and paper products. The flippin' milk used to come in class bottles on the doorstep, now plastic cartons. Pop bottles were worth something, now only to tree-huggin recyclers. Alright so I could continue but I think I have illustrated my thoughts semi-accurately enough. I wonder if our reliance and conditioning to rely on disposable products has caused us to at some level treat most relationships the same way. I know that I could use some help in treating the people I love better. I wonder if one of the reasons I don't call the people I care about more is because of everything in my world being easy to replace. I think this is why porn is such a common struggle with people. Porn is essentially an issue with disposability at the heart of it. Porn allows one to fool themselves into a fake intimacy that requires nothing of them, and in the end they can forget quickly and move on. All the while their souls are being corrupted because they are letting things inside that will never fill the hole that is there. I wonder if the whole disposability thing has caused us to treat human relationships the same. Do we all think that we can easily replace the tings we treasure because we can easily replace almost anything else? I know that in several other areas I have realized I am a product of my conditioning. Perhaps this is one more.

Last night I watched Hotel Rwanda. whoa. I don't really know what to say. It was really heavy. It made me think of the blackness of our hearts. It made me think of my ethnocentrism that I promise doesn't exist. It made me fell the weight of the call of Christ. It hurt to view it from my perspective, much less the way God views it. They said that in the wake of that Massacre over a million corpses were left. Perhaps one of the most interesting things, was the reasons the hatred existed between the factions. They hated each other because of the power one group held at one time, versus who hold the power now. That is worth the lives of thousands. I need to read more. It made me sense the urgency of delivering the Gospel message to our world daily. Who knows the scope the Gospel may have. Just because I cannot go to Rwanda tomorrow does not mean that the gospel could not travel there by any of our faithfulness to share it boldly in our corner of earth. This movie was more weighty than I desired to witness. I felt so much shame for the way I have disregarded justice on earth, and even in my day to day treatment of people. I must love. That is all can say I gues. I must love ferociously.

This post is pretty melancholy, but these are just things I needed to get down before I forgot about them. I'll probably post a second time this week discussing the high points of my trip to Northern California, as well as a manifesto describing how good Brand New's "Deja Entendu" and Derek Webb's "I see things Upside down" CD's are. until, cheers.