green

I'm from Mississippi, and at times I feel this more than others. Today is one of those days. This afternoon I was reading in my room. I live on the 2nd floor at my house and I have 2 large windows that I like to open most days. Neighborhoods in Colorado are ridiculous. Most houses sit on an eighth of an acre, thus if you have more than that you are practically a farmer. My window's view made me laugh today. When both windows are open the main view I have is the side of the house next door and then the backs of all of the other houses that open onto a beautiful 35ft. x 60ft. green belt. Every one of the houses have a back yard, backyards that are a lot larger than the front yards. My back yard is particularly nice, because my roomates recently put down new sod which looks like carpet, but nevertheless we all have tiny backyards so we should be particularly excited about our greenbelt. I'm kind of freaked out about that. It makes me think that maybe we have all decided to accept things that shouldn't be accepted. People in Colorado are nuts about conserving the environment. Some people care more about the treatment of the environment than the people next door. I'm not their judge, just saying. That being said, it blows my mind that most of those eco-friendly bumper sticker having people return gladly everyday to their tiny-yard subdivisions. Perhaps there behavior is based upon driving home everyday to see what was at one point green stuff, but this doesn't really seem to be the case. I love all of the parks in Fort Collins. Ever since I've lived here I've loved how our city is full of parks, and I wondered why there aren't more back in MS. Now its hit me, we have parks because we have no grass of our own. When did we decide to be satisifed with so little.

I'm not trying to hug some trees, just saying how bizarre it is that we work and toil for progress, and it seems that progress just erodes the very things and space we want to use on our vacations from working for progress. Besides is working for progress anything other than a circle.

So last week I went surfing in Southern California and heard the words of Ecclesiastes on a surfboard. I guess I'm just saying people matter, little else does. As I survey the plot of grass the HOA of my neighborhood has so graciously given me I wrestle with restlessness over being pinned in by progress. I miss oak trees and seeing places without houses. As I think about the circle of keeping up and acquiring I wonder, "What is worth my time?" This question haunts me. I've been listening to too much Cat Stevens I think. Either way I just think its important to think about where to put my life.