I'm too practical

So apparently Julie and I are not gonna talk for a while. This message became glaringly clear yesterday when I recieved a piece of mail from her. It was a simple note attached to a four pass I had given her, saying I probably can't use this so you should share it with someone else, Have a good thanksgiving. It was sent via the US postal service. I guess that is a pretty clear piece of communication. I'm not sure what I was expecting as far as our relationship, post coupledom, but I had at least hoped we would be pals. One of my friends said that if I care about Julie than I shouldn't talk to her until after Christmas. So whatever. I guess I have to aceept this as the consequences of my actions. The flippin USPS. Anyway I digress. I just think it is a shame we cannot even speak a sentence to each other. But all in all I do want whatever is best for her, because I think I have probably hurt her enough for one man. Thus I'll drift quietly out of her life, or whatever and hope that one day we can be pals. So I think I am too pratical because I actually believe we should be able to be friends, or at least cordial acquaintances in spite of our past. SO I'll squash that, and quote the words that frustrated me yesterday, when a friend told me what they had told my former pal Julie, "You don't cut your arm off with a butter knife, thats too painful, you have to chop it off at once." Geez I need to quit being so pissed.

I bought Talib Kweli-- The Beautiful Struggle, yesterday and I really dig it. He is a rapper that actually says something. He's not rapping for hos or money, but rather to preach. I like that. I'm wrestling with a thought about him though. He cusses a lot. I usually dismiss most people who use a lot of profanity as inarticulate and probably unintelligent, however with him it is different. I think he is pretty articulate, and intelligent. It got me thinking he uses these words because they are his words. He is from the streets of New York, and I can't help but wonder does he speak this way for the same reason I say something is money when it is good. SO no doubt about it I am attempting to rationalize why I should let my mind consume his language, but this has just left me thinking. He talks about God a lot. Not in the same way Tupac would talk about God after killing someone. He talks about God like he knows him and talks to him. Maybe I'm a sucker. Probably I am a sucker.